I have been pretty vocal on my personal page about circumcision over the past year and I don’t think a lot of people truly understand WHY it is that I made this decision. This also seems to be the biggest question I get when people are why I left my son intact, especially since his brothers are circumcised.
First… my response is this, you live and you learn. Yes- I LEARNED what a circumcision actually is, I LEARNED the true functions of the foreskin (the “flap” of skin that is removed– Oh yes it serves very important functions for a man- all of which are taken away from him at birth or shortly after with Routine Infant Circumcision), and I LEARNED WHY we do it in the United States.
I only wish that someone would have given me all this information when I was 21 and my first born was brought into this world. Unfortunately, I had no idea. With my second son- I really started to question it. I really didn’t feel right about it, but I felt pressure to make him “normal” so I had it done… and I regretted it pretty much instantly and I still do.
I knew when I found out I was expecting another boy that I would leave him intact. I knew that I really regretted allowing that to happen to my son’s and that I would break the cycle now. I also want to inform other parents-to-be that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CHOOSE TO CIRCUMCISE your son. It is not necessary, it is not normal, you ARE taking something away from him, and most of all- truly– it is not your body and not your decision to remove body parts from your child because in some way, you feel this is how a man’s penis is supposed to look.
I am not going to harp and preach on circumcision in this post. I will leave you with a link to video that I feel every person should watch Elephant in the Hospital. I hope you will take the time to watch the video because it does have really great information in it.
What made me change my stance?
Well first… I was not exactly “pro cut” I feel like I was a sheep- just doing what I thought I had to do. And for that, my sons suffered. After my second son was born, I feel like something immediately clicked and I knew what I did was wrong. I also met a friend that was a huge intactivist and she shared some info with me to help solidify the feelings that I was already having. Once I realized everything- did some of my own research… I knew where I stood.
1. It is NOT a sin NOT to circumcise your sons. This is one thing that I hear- about how the bible says you should or you are “unclean” or you are sinning. This is not true. Not only this, but the circumcision that is performed today is not at all like the circumcision that was performed by Abraham in the Bible.
2. The foreskin has functions!! We are led to believe the forskin is just a flap of skin that has no purpose and will cause infection if we leave it attached.
This is NOT TRUE. The foreskin has 16 functions, all of which are lost with circumcision, and most of which can not be regained with restoration.
3. It is NOT my body. I think this is the biggest one parents need to remember. How do you know that your son wants to be circumcised? You don’t! An infant can not express if he wants to have this elective cosmetic surgery done, why should you be the one to decide this for him?
4. It is cruel. Think about what actually happens during circumcision… YOU ARE ALLOWING THIS HARM AND PAIN TO HAPPEN TO YOUR NEWBORN BABY! We are so desensitized and are so concerned with what is “normal” that we don’t care that we are intentionally causing pain to our children. Pain that can have life long negative effects! (And a circumcised penis is not “normal”!!)
5. It is not important for my sons to “match”… If you are choosing to circumcise because your husband is… Why? Do you think they are going to “compare”… no and if they somehow notice… you can explain how you did better for your son because you had all the information.
I really hope this helps to answer the questions most people have asked me about my choice to leave my son intact (after choosing to circumcise the first two). The one thing I can urge every parent to be is– do your research! Don’t just do it because you think you have to… you don’t! You can break the cycle and your son will thank you for it when he older.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them in the comments.